After several tearful weeks of very painful pumping at work, I finally figured out a solution. It's two-fold. First, I needed a smaller sized breast funnel. The standard 24mm size was too large for my nipple and was sucking too much of the areola into the shaft. So, I got the 21mm size. But that didn't fully solve the problem. I have also found that I can only pump one side at a time. I'm not sure if it's because I can't position the funnels properly when doing 2 at once or if the suction on the pump works differently, but if I only pump one side at a time, I can avoid the horrible soreness after pumping.
I'm now down to pumping twice a day at work, which also helps reduce soreness, since I'm not pumping so ofter (I just have to keep an eye on my milk supply). And, I've settled on leaving 5oz, 4.5oz, and 4.5oz bottles (so 14oz total). So far I've always been able to pump more than what she needs to eat during the day. Today, though, my pumping sessions have been a bit lack-luster, so I'll have to see how my second session goes. I still have plenty extra from yesterday, but I prefer to be able to pump the 14oz today. If my supply is tanking, though, I can always go back to 3 sessions per day.
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